The Avenue of Despair

“The lost cannot be found. The lost craves to be found.”


When you have no desire in life. When you perceive everything is slipping through your fingers. When your heart and soul are filled with melancholy. Then your feet will carry you to The Avenue of Despair. The dwelling of your inner demons.

Come and see your broken dreams at The Museum of Grief. The bleeding painting of lost hope and buried wishes. Your every painful memory monumented and preserved for you to remember.

Keep walking there’s more to see at The Avenue of Despair.

The fortune-teller at The Circus of Travesty has a smirk on her face, she knows the dirty little secrets, concealed in your heart. The dancing clowns with their torturous laughter, teasing and mocking you. A painful reminder of the prison you reside in – a vicious cycle of horror.

You want to run away but where will you run? You can cry and scream but who will listen? Who will hear you at The Avenue of Despair?

Go to The Shop of Immorality and try the dress of seduction, stitched with false promises and golden lies of lust. Paint your lips for the special kiss of death. All to please your carnal desires. The never-ending façade to satisfy the emptiness of your soul.

Are your feet tired? Have your eyes seen enough at The Avenue of Despair?

Rest and take a seat on the old wooden bench in the middle of the square by the fountain. The heart carved in the bench has been burned down, does it remind you of him? But where is he now? He too forgot about you. The fountain of Misery sings the song of a hurt soul with every droplet echoing your haunting cries.

This is you. A body consummated by the sickness of dejection. Living, breathing, yet behind the smiles are the cries. Behind those brown eyes lives a ghostly soul.

The haunting nightmares are now a reality and what rests is the final breath. You can linger at The Avenue of Despair or walk into a new journey.  At the end of the road, a clean page awaits to be written.

Are your feet strong enough to carry one more step…?


Dust is my bed


Staring at her own reflection in the mirror, perceiving that time had surpassed rapidly…
Deep wrinkles engraved by hardship and that of loss.
Her eyes welled up with tears and her trembling lips whispered: “Oh you poor soul, you have become a longevous woman.”

As she placed her finger on her fragile face she looked at her frail lips, and her cheeks started blushing, she remembered the first kiss. Time had surely changed her but the memories are embossed on her heart. She lost many friends to the hands of death and soon it would be her turn to depart.

Reminiscing the days of her youth and the beautiful moments she shared with the loving people she met… she again looked in the mirror and sighed “life.”
And what an adventurous life she had lived.
Was there anything she did not receive from her Creator?
Was there anything left behind in her life?
No, she lived in contentment. Blessed. Satisfied.

As she gave a final look in the mirror, looking at the lace ivory dress, it was her loving husbands favorite. How she missed him and his warm embrace.
Her once so youthful face changed from a daughter into a wife into a mother and now into a grandmother. She had played all the roles well and her eyes sparkled like diamonds of happiness.

She looked around in the room. It was filled with white orchids and the scent of lavender lingered around. Soon her children will enter the room to give her the final goodbye.  She walked to the bed and looked at the fragile body lying down, and whispered: “I am ready.”  Her lips moving with the words of remembrance of her Creator.
And then her final breath arrived.



Oh, my Beloved….

You made me realize to search for myself in this world where hearts are broken and endless tears are shed.

Oh, my Beloved, You showed me a clear path to walk upon “prayer.”

The sound of the prayer has never left my heart.

The sound of prayer guided me, directed me.

Oh, my Beloved You never left me, even when I was astray, lost in the darkness of this world.

My soul was always feeling fragmented. You are always watching me.

When I finally took the courage and started to bow my head down, I felt as if my soul was reborn, as if my real life started.

Starting with Your name.



Somewhere in between….

Many stories start at the beginning and people collect the very first moment, indented in their minds till the end of days. For some people their story begins at the end after everything has finished, their story starts.

Mine, however, started somewhere in between. Perhaps it started long before but while I was drowning in the dark murky waters of life, a bit of ethereal light visited me. Sometimes the most unexpected befall when you least expect it, as in my case.

While carrying the heavy luggage of life, experiencing failure of lost not once but many times, and then to feel light and free can be frightening. A foreign strange land where you can walk bare feet, dive in the beautiful oceans, collect the pearls and corals and wear them as ornaments and to feel the soft rays of the sun that tickle your skin. The unknown place removes your every tied knot of a struggling life.  While the thorns are gently removed one by one you sit there watching and thinking “is this real, do I deserve this?” When your eyes have seen through the veils of tears, every little bit of light is happiness.

So as this world sleeps, I know that somewhere in between my story started with this beautiful soft knock on the door of my cold chaotic heart.





I’ve  fallen deeply for an Enigma, albeit he has a name, my lips are sealed. This secret can be easily disclosed, as simple as going to him, looking into his eyes and uttering the secret of my soul. That he is the beautiful white feather floating in my mind and tickling my heart. But I will not tell him.

My heart’s thirst is quenched by knowing that he is near me, as he walks by, and I catch a glimpse of him, or when our eyes meet; time stands still. My mind composes the most passionate love song. A story is written for him, where he is the main character, every line, and word dedicated to him. But he will never know this story. It is embossed in my heart. But I will not tell him.

Although we are poles apart by age, race, and belief but our souls are identical. My heart feels the pattern is related. How else to explain the similarities? Days are filled with him in my cogitation, he visits me in my dreams at night, in the morning he wakes me up with a smile, one that is filled with pure happiness. He is the flower petal floating in the river of my soul. But I will not tell him.

My heart wishes to write about him before time etiolates the memories. I want to imprint his every movement in my heart. His eyes, his smile, his voice even the way he breathes, carved in my soul forever. But I will not tell him.

I’m only a person, who walks through the boulevard of his life, but for me, he is more. He is an inspiration, a gift, a blessing, the joy to my heart; he is friend. Soon he will forget me, as the days will pass by and all will be erased. But I will not tell him.

In my heart, I deeply desire you to find out.

That this is all about you!

But I guess you will never know and I will never tell….

Seven steps to a more successful life..

1.Begin from the possible :

Whenever the Prophet Muhammad sallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wasallam had to choose between the two options he always opted for the easier choice. (Bukhari)

To choose easy means to begin from the possible and you will surely reach your goals. To work from an easier point will make you work smarter and not harder.

*Don’t waste your time, utilize it wherever and whenever needed.


2.With hardship, there is ease! :

“Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allah will grant after hardship, ease.”Al- Quran at-Talaaq, 65:7

Every hardship is a lesson, a moment to reflect and to learn. This moment of hardship can be an opportunity to earn more blessings.  Think about the end result and focus on your reward.

3. Looking for change in different places.

Turn your obstacles into opportunities and your problems into possibilities.” 

Change your focus to a direction you never looked at.Look at it from different angles. Keep your mind open to possibilities. Turn liability into an asset with creative and resourceful thinking. Even if you have to bite through a bitter pill, the sun shines behind the clouds just wait for your moment to shine.

4. Make your enemies like you :

And good and evil deeds are not alike. Repel evil with good. And he who is your enemy will become your dearest friend.” (41:33-34)

Work hard to make them friendly who dislike you for your good deeds. Just be yourself and work hard to improve yourself. When those who dislike you will see your hard work – their heart might change and from hate can come love.

5. Wring success out of failure:

“Even the lost can be found.”

Even the one who gives up can become a winner by using the one key called ‘determination’. All that fails is a reflection, take a good look at your reflection and pick up your weaknesses and defects and create them to become a better person; when the fruit is ripe the taste of victory will sweet.

6. Show good character:

Prophet Muhammad sallā Allāhu ʿalayhi wasallam said: “And what is the most likely to send people to Paradise? Being conscious of Allaah and good manners.”(Bukhari)

By showing good character people will respect you and trust you. It doesn’t cost much to be nice. You can start with small things, for instance, a smile, or by keeping the door open for others. Kindness is a gate to peace!

7. Choose your battles:

“Know your enemies and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.”

Never involve yourself in emotional battles that you cannot win. Think first, gain knowledge and prepare to pick your battle. Don’t engross yourself in topics or actions that have no prosperity in your Dunya or Akhirah. In shaa Allaah!


Use it, live it and have a happy life!





Temporary fleet through Dunya

Confined in the glass prison of the world, the bird with the broken wing dreamed to break free from the bars of her cage and fly to the sapphire sky.

In a realm where hearts are shattered like broken crystals and tears are scattered like pearls. O my Beloved, You, made me perceive to traverse for myself.

O my Beloved, You, guided me to the Sirat al Mustaqim.

By Your mercy my vessel sails through the beautiful ocean of Islam with contentment and love.

The sails replete by the jewels of knowledge and prosperity.


By Your eternal guidance, I submit myself.

The call to prayer draws me close to You, where I find peace and solace.

When my soul was fragmented in this dark world and I was seeking for answers, whilst I searched there I found You, O my Beloved, the answer to my every question.

Guiding me in the journey of the temporary fleet through Dunya.